Tonight, I couldn't find my [bad word] glasses. I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately, and my eyes are really tired, so right after I gave Nate a bath, I took out my contacts and reached for my glasses. Which were not where they belong.
"Where are my glasses??" I mused, rummaging through my drawer. "Where on earth could they be?" Nate and Jonah, deep into a game on pbskids.org, ignored me.
Minutes passed. Drawers were searched. Items were tossed about the bathroom. "Seriously, where are they???" Books were tossed off my nightstand, papers were shuffled about my bureau, my finger was slammed in a drawer. "[BAD WORD!!!]" I raged. "Argh! That hurt! And WHERE are my glasses???"
Nate ignored me. Jonah ignored me.
Swearing under my breath, I stormed into the kitchen. "Could Laura have moved them when she was cleaning this morning? Should I call her?" I mused. Bear in mind that since I had already taken out my contacts, I had the horrible dizziness that comes from trying to walk through life half-blind. "I'd better call her. WHERE on EARTH are my stupid GLASSES????"
From far down the hall came a little voice. "Oops! They're in my special drawer, Mommy! Sorry!" cried Jonah. I did not notice this; I was too busy shushing him. "Not now, Jonah! I'm looking for my glasses!"
"He says they're in his special drawer!" Steve added.
?
They were, in fact, in Jonah's special drawer, in his bureau in the closet of his bedroom. "Jonah," I asked patiently, "why did you put my glasses in your special drawer?"
"Because I like to hide them!" he beamed.
“Really!” Lord Lambeth exclaimed again; and wondered whether all American ladies had such a passion for generalising as these two.
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